“Why don't you Protestants honour Mary? She's the Mother of God. And what's wrong with asking the saints to pray for me? You ask your friends to pray for you.”

The 30-second answer

We should honour Mary: Scripture calls her blessed, and she is a model of faith. But Scripture never tells us to pray to departed saints. It gives us direct access to the Father through Jesus, the one Mediator, who always lives to intercede for us.

💡 Ask them back“I agree Mary is "blessed among women." Can I ask what she herself told people to do? At Cana she pointed away from herself: "Whatever He says to you, do it." If Jesus invites us to come straight to the Father in His name, why go through anyone else?”

⚠️ What not to sayDon't attack Mary, call Catholics idol worshippers, or mock statues and rosaries. Most Catholics sincerely say they honour Mary rather than worship her, so start there. And don't fight over "Mother of God": the title was first used to defend the truth that Jesus is God.

📖 The full defense

Honour her as Scripture does:
The angel said, "Rejoice, highly favored one, the Lord is with you; blessed are you among women!" (Luke 1:28), and Mary said, "all generations will call me blessed" (Luke 1:48). Evangelicals often honour her too little. The title "Mother of God" (Theotokos, affirmed at the Council of Ephesus, AD 431) was first a statement about Jesus: the child she bore is truly God. Lutherans and many other Protestants accept it in that sense.

Hear what the Church says:
The Catechism says devotion to Mary "differs essentially from the adoration" given to God (Catechism 971), and that her role "in no way obscures or diminishes" the unique mediation of Christ (Catechism 970). Take your friend at their word. The concern is practice: many popular prayers and titles give Mary a role that Scripture gives only to Christ and the Holy Spirit.

Asking a friend is not the same as praying to the departed:
Asking living believers to pray for us is biblical (James 5:16). But Scripture never shows a believer praying to anyone in Heaven except God, and never suggests that the departed can hear millions of prayers at once, which only God can do.

We have direct access through the one Mediator:
"There is one God and one Mediator between God and men, the Man Christ Jesus" (1 Timothy 2:5). He "always lives to make intercession" for us (Hebrews 7:25), so we may "come boldly to the throne of grace" (Hebrews 4:16). No one is closer to the Father than the Son, and He is praying for us already.

Mary points to her Son:
Her last recorded words in the Gospels are "Whatever He says to you, do it" (John 2:5). When a woman called Jesus' mother blessed, He answered, "More than that, blessed are those who hear the word of God and keep it!" (Luke 11:28). The best way to honour Mary is to do what she said: trust her Son and obey Him.

✝️ Scripture anchors (NKJV)

John 2:5

“His mother said to the servants, "Whatever He says to you, do it."”

1 Timothy 2:5

“For there is one God and one Mediator between God and men, the Man Christ Jesus.”

Hebrews 7:25

“Therefore He is also able to save to the uttermost those who come to God through Him, since He always lives to make intercession for them.”

Luke 11:28

“But He said, "More than that, blessed are those who hear the word of God and keep it!"”

🔁 If they push back…

The comeback you are most likely to hear next — and a reply that keeps the conversation moving toward Jesus.

They say“The saints in Heaven aren't dead; they're alive with God. Revelation shows the elders offering the prayers of the saints.”

You can sayAgreed, they are alive in Christ (Luke 20:38). Revelation 5:8 shows elders holding "golden bowls full of incense, which are the prayers of the saints." But nobody on earth is praying to them; the prayers rise to God. Scripture never tells us to address the departed. Why reach for an uncertain route when Jesus has opened the direct one (Hebrews 4:16)?

They say“From the cross Jesus gave Mary to all of us as our mother: "Behold your mother!"”

You can sayThat's a beautiful moment. Dying, Jesus provided for His mother, and "from that hour that disciple took her to his own home" (John 19:27). It shows His love. But it doesn't tell us to pray to her. John, the disciple who took her home, wrote a Gospel and three letters and never once directs prayer to Mary.

They say“We don't worship Mary. Honouring her isn't worship.”

You can sayThank you. I believe you mean that, and the Church says the same. So let's both check our hearts with one question: am I bringing to anyone else what belongs to Jesus alone, my trust for salvation, my confidence at death? If Jesus is enough, every honour we give Mary will point back to Him, just as she did.

🕊️ Pentecostal key — the Spirit on the streetDon't win the argument and lose the person. Share how you pray straight to the Father in Jesus' name and how He has answered. Then ask if you may pray with them right there, simply and personally, so they can hear what direct access to the Father sounds like (Romans 8:15).